Crazy-Ass Dream

(That I had a few nights ago but was too lazy to post until today. Copy-Pasta'd from my GoogleDocs because if I had started typing it here, I would've forgotten about it.)

Okay, some parts more crazy than others, but, yeah. Still crazy.

Anyways, it started out... well, who the fuck knows where. Uhm... Had to do with Theater Guild and Mike G. and shit. Not as bad as it could have been, but then suddenly I’m trying to get away from Agent Smith from the freaking Matrix. I don’t even remember HALF the shit from that movie! Then it’s like he’s about to fucking kill me, but I stabbed myself in the thigh and he fucking exploded.

No, seriously. And it wasn’t like a mushroom cloud or action-y fire explosion or even the Doctor Manhattan “SPLORAHFKLAJHLF” gutsy explosion. It was like a damn supernova. Oh, and I failed to mention this like... weird-as-hell monologue/rant he went through before I went stabby. With this weird explosive needle device thing that he was beforehand trying to kill me with.

Then it’s like “HOORAY I’M OKAY!” because I was watching everything on the news. And instead of me being there with this explosive needle device thing in my thigh, it’s some guy in an orange jumpsuit that looked like he escaped from Superjail! and blood everywhere. Then the news showed two other orange peoples that are like... “Well wth are we supposed to do with him now?”

So, yeah.

THEN, I’m like... invited to this party that’s all the way in New York. For Cory. From that show from way back when I was a noob: That’s So Raven...

What. In. Glorious. Fuckness. Piss-shizz-nit. Is Cory Baxter doing in my dreams.

Oh, and it’s Season 1 Cory, by the way.

So, I go to New York, and then all of that shit is suddenly forgotten.

Because I’m getting married. To Chase Young.

Chase.

Fucking.

Young.

Then when I’m about to go down the aisle, Sherrie calls me. “I really wish you came with us, Ellie!” Two seconds later, still not down the aisle, she calls again. “Why didn’t you come with us?” Calls AGAIN. “WE MISS YOU!” CALLS A-FUCKING-GAIN. “HE’S PLAYING DISNEY MUSIC, ELLIE! WHY DIDN’T YOU GO WITH US!? THIS IS TORTURE!” I think I said something to the last one about, “Well, I kinda wanted _____ stained glass ______ awesome music again... y’know?” And I also assumed that “he” is my dad, though I have no idea why in the hell he’d be playing Disney music...

Finally off down the aisle, then I run away thinking “WTF AM I DOING.”

Then I remember the party thing.

So, I run around New York trying to find where the thing is, and then I run into a building and there’s another chick who looks like Michelle Obama (I don’t even fucking LIKE the Obamas...) running away from her husband or some shit. Don’t even remember what he looked like, but I remember both of us running into James Earl Jones and asking him where the South-East wing of the building was. He just gave us a quizzical look and was like, “...Down... there?” and pointed down an escelator and a large hallway beyond it. So, Michelle-Look-Alike ran into her husband almost immediately and he’s like “Why won’t you come back with me?” and I just keep runing down through the hall and then a room that looks like it’s supposed to be apart of the damn White House. Found Cory, gave the “WASSUP BRAH” kind of greeting that I actually do give people sometimes, and sat next to him on this couch that had tons of other little kids on it.

THEN (hoooo no, I’m not anywhere NEAR done yet).

I’m back at Theater Guild, and there’s some guy there who was really, really, REALLY effing hot. Well, okay, according to dream me. I dunno if I’d think the same if he ever existed, but anyways... Pretty sure his name was Simon because I watched the four-part Castlevania-thon of Angry Video Game Nerd. For the most part he was that cliche “quiet and mysterious” type. Bad boy, I guess. But SO hot. Blond hair in a ponytail, and he pulled it off.

AHEM.

So.

I don’t remember much. But it’s like... he came over, then left, then came back because some asshole was being... an asshole. Then later I had to describe what he was like to this girl (either it was Arianne or some girl who was supposedly a neighbor), and - I shit you not - I said, “Whenever you’re around him you feel like you’re going to orgasm any second.”

Then I was awake.

...

The end.