Heartless-ness

Today, my dad went cross-country skiing and broke his shoulder. Don't ask how, because I have no fucking idea.

Matt and Hartley left to get him and also bring back the Colbalt because Dad can't drive. With them out of the house, I did what I usually do when I'm home alone.

Rant as loud as possible without technically yelling.

Basically I was explaining to no one in particular about how I wasn't all sappy and sympathetic about the whole thing, and that I felt more like "Oh shit what if it leads to internal bleeding or something lethal and Dad dies? OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY MOM AND HAVE MY LIFE SUCK ABOUT TWENTY TIMES MORE THAN IT DOES NOW!"

And then I started thinking about how I overreact sometimes, and depending on how much I really do care is on how reasonable it sounds and also the tone of voice I use. I tired to think of a good example to prove this and then I thought about how Mom gave away Mister. But thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to him right now made me cry.

How heartless is that? I cry when I think about horrible things happening to my dog, but I barely even make the slightest whimper over the thought of losing Dad... I just freak out...